How I Decided to Overcome Fear
I've always had a thing for love,
being loved, loving others and people knowing that they are loved. Even in feeling this way I did not believe that I was ever really loved or worthy of love. I didn't really love myself. This thinking led to me being afraid of failure. If I failed then, of course, I'm not loved, because who wants to love a failure? I thought this way for about 12 years, from 11th grade until I was 27. I wouldn't try anything new because then I wouldn't fail at it and if I didn't fail, I wouldn't feel bad about myself.
I did not believe that I was ever really loved or worthy of love. This thinking led to me being afraid of failure.
In 2008 I was 27, pregnant with my third child and very sad. I felt that I had no purpose or goals in life. Five months after my son was born I went on a retreat to get a different understanding of God. I looked at God as a distant father; almost like an untouchable king who only comes out for three really important people.
Those three days I was able to not be a wife, a mother, a daughter or a friend.
It was just me and God.
A message one of the women gave about rejection, how, even though my family may not accept me completely, God does, changed everything. I got to know him personally and not just through preachers and family. He's very attainable. I learned to build a relationship with him. It was then that I truly started to believe that I was loved and worthy of that love. I started to believe that I was created for a purpose. I slowly started to walk and talk differently.
Paint Themed Parties
At 28, I was slowly becoming a more confident, purposeful Corinne. I loved creating things with my hands and I wanted women to feel like their best selves. So, I started making jewelry. I wanted to make beautiful yet affordable jewelry that any woman could buy and feel confident and loved in. I never believed I was good enough to do much of anything. This was my first time stepping out and trying something. [I was] still thinking there was a possibility of failing but without the fear of who I would be if I did fail.
This was the first time the thought of failing did not define who I was.
It was not easy. I had become comfortable in the thought, "Don't try it and you won't fail". However, what was in me [now] had become bigger than those thoughts. Sometimes I did fail along the way, but I also made some really beautiful pieces. All during that time I was constantly working on my relationship with God.
I was learning more about Him and in turn, learning more about myself.
In 2015, I slowly drifted away from making jewelry. My daughter was turning 15 and wanted a party. I told her, "Sure, I can do that!”.
That started my love for creating parties. I love making people happy. What makes anyone happier than having a party? So I started "Made with Love 1981" Little did I know that both of my businesses were guiding me into my purpose.
So I started "Made with Love 1981" [parties]
In 2016, I began volunteering at my youngest son's school. They needed help with art classes and props for a play. This was right up my alley. I love creating and children are the best to work with. While I was volunteering, God showed me something else about myself. I love children. Of course, I've always loved my own children and my nieces and nephews, but working with the kids at my son's school opened [my heart] to loving outside of my family. I became passionate about working with these children and wanting them to have the best love and care, so passionate that I started working there. I am currently the infant/ toddler manager and lead teacher. I am also the events coordinator. On top of that, I am still doing parties and will occasionally make some jewelry.
I encourage myself daily. I still do when something new comes along. It's easy to not try.
Through this 11 year journey with God, I learned a great deal about love: how He loves, how to receive love, and how to love in return. I encourage myself daily. I still do when something new comes along. It's easy to not try. I live my days now letting God lead. That's the only reason I am where I am now. I say yes to him and no to the fear.
Someone asked me a question last year, "Corinne, what are you passionate about?”.
My answer was simple. “Love.” Not just being loved or feeling butterflies in my stomach, I'm passionate about God's love, [about] people understanding His love.
I know that my purpose is to spread that love.
I'm passionate about women and children knowing and believing their worth and that they are greatly loved. I know that my purpose is to spread that love. I do this through both of my businesses and my job. There are so many wives who don't know their value; so many children who don't know what it feels like to be hugged or thought of. Every time I create a party, I put thought and love into every piece. Every time I encounter a mom or a daughter, I try to say at least one thing that lets them know they are seen and worthy of thought.
My favorite scripture is Matthew 10:29 "What better way to describe worth and value than to hear how God values us.” (Message Bible).
Can you imagine a world where we all know and accept God's love?