How I Decided to Overcome Fear
Updated: Oct 26
I've always had a thing for love,
being loved, loving others and people knowing that they are loved. Even in feeling this way I did not believe that I was ever really loved or worthy of love. I didn't really love myself. This thinking led to me being afraid of failure. If I failed then, of course, I'm not loved, because who wants to love a failure? I thought this way for about 12 years, from 11th grade until I was 27. I wouldn't try anything new because then I wouldn't fail at it and if I didn't fail, I wouldn't feel bad about myself.
I did not believe that I was ever really loved or worthy of love. This thinking led to me being afraid of failure.
In 2008 I was 27, pregnant with my third child and very sad. I felt that I had no purpose or goals in life. Five months after my son was born I went on a retreat to get a different understanding of God. I looked at God as a distant father, almost like an untouchable king who only comes out for three really important people.
Those three days I was able to not be a wife, a mother, a daughter or a friend.
It was just me and God.
A message one of the women gave about rejection, how, even though my family may not accept me completely, God does, changed everything. I got to know him personally and not just through preachers and family. He's very attainable. I learned to build a relationship with him. It was then that I truly started to believe that I was loved and worthy of that love. I started to believe that I was created for a purpose. I slowly started to walk and talk differently.
Paint Themed Parties
At 28, I was slowly becoming a more confident, purposeful Corinne. I loved creating things with my hands and I wanted women to feel like their best selves. So, I started making jewelry. I wanted to make beautiful yet affordable jewelry that any woman could buy and feel confident and loved in. I never believed I was good enough to do much of anything. This was my first time stepping out and trying something. [I was] still thinking there was a possibility of failing but without the fear of who I would be if I did fail.
This was the first time the thought of failing did not define who I was.
It was not easy. I had become comfortable in the thought, "Don't try it and you won't fail". However, what was in me [now] had become bigger than those thoughts. Sometimes I did fail along the way, but I also made some really beautiful pieces. All during that time I was constantly working on my relationship with God.
I was learning more about Him and in turn, learning more about myself.
In 2015, I slowly drifted away from making jewelry. My daughter was turning 15 and wanted a party. I told her, "Sure, I can do that!”.
That started my love for creating parties. I love making people happy. What makes anyone happier than having a party? So I started "Made with Love 1981" Little did I know that both of my businesses were guiding me into my purpose.
So I started "Made with Love 1981" [parties]
In 2016, I began volunteering at my youngest son's school. They needed help with art classes and props for a play. This was right up my alley. I love creating and children are the best to work with. While I was volunteering, God showed me something else about myself. I love children. Of course, I've always loved my own children and my nieces and nephews, but working with the kids at my son's school opened [my heart] to loving outside of my family. I became passionate about working with these children and wanting them to have the best love and care, so passionate that I started working there. I am currently the infant/ toddler manager and lead teacher. I am also the events coordinator. On top of that, I am still doing parties and will occasionally make some jewelry.
I encourage myself daily. I still do when something new comes along. It's easy to not try.
Through this 11 year journey with God, I learned a great deal about love, how He loves, how to receive love, and how to love in return. I encourage myself daily. I still do when something new comes along. It's easy to not try. I live my days now letting God lead. That's the only reason I am where I am now. I say yes to him and no to the fear.
Someone asked me a question last year, "Corinne, what are you passionate about?”.
My answer was simple. “Love.” Not just being loved or feeling butterflies in my stomach, I'm passionate about God's love, [about] people understanding His love.
I know that my purpose is to spread that love.
I'm passionate about women and children knowing and believing their worth and that they are greatly loved. I know that my purpose is to spread that love. I do this through both of my businesses and my job. There are so many wives who don't know their value, so many children who don't know what it feels like to be hugged or thought of. Every time I create a party, I put thought and love into every piece. Every time I encounter a mom or a daughter, I try to say at least one thing that lets them know they are seen and worthy of thought.
My favorite scripture is Matthew 10:29 "What better way to describe worth and value than to hear how God values us.” (Message Bible).
Can you imagine a world where we all know and accept God's love?